Infatuation
by JantoFan
Summary: It wasn't bullying. It wasn't.
1. Chapter 1

**Just a very short first chapter. I probably wont update this for a while, because I really don't have time to be starting another fic (even if it will only be a couple of chapters), but I thought I'd put it down to see whether people like it :)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the Boosh. If I ever do, you people will be the first to know.**

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"I don't know." Vince mused, gazing at his outfit in his reflection. "I'm not sure it's the look I was going for. I wanted to look sexy tonight." he smirked and turned to his friend who was sat on the bed behind him. "Do _you_ think I look sexy, Howard?"

Howard shifted uncomfortably and his gaze darted from side to side. "Um…well…I wouldn't know…I mean, I suppose…if I was a woman you might…um…"

Vince turned back to the mirror and grinned evilly at the reflection, before reaching up and undoing a couple more buttons on his shirt. "Maybe if I show a bit more chest? Yeah?"

"Um…" Howard had turned a fascinating shade of red. "…I suppose. I'll…um…leave you to get ready." he got up and hurried out of the room.

Vince laughed silently. This was his new favourite hobby at the moment, taunting Howard. Not that the older man knew it, poor sod, he honestly seemed to believe Vince didn't know he was in love with him. It was quite sweet, really, the way he was so completely oblivious to how obvious he was sometimes; but Vince still delighted in making him squirm.

And he was perfectly safe in doing so. He knew Howard would never be able to leave him. He'd come close, several times in the past. But all it took from Vince was the right outfit, a sideways look, his perfect pout, and Howard would be putty in his hands.

He'd always known about Howard's feelings for him, of course he had, but it was only recently he'd discovered how easily they could be used to his advantage. He knew where to draw the line of course; he'd never try and get money off Howard or anything, but just for little things. Getting him to run errands, getting away with turning up hours late for work, being able to phone Howard for a lift home no matter what time of night (or more usually morning) it was.

It wasn't bullying. It wasn't. Vince saw the way Naboo looked at him sometimes when he was teasing Howard; he knew that was what the shaman thought. But he and Howard were friends, and you couldn't bully your friends. Else you wouldn't _be_ friends, would you?

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What do you think? Write the next chapter, or leave it as a one-shot?

**Reviews cheer me up after my shit morning xx**


	2. Chapter 2

"Morning." Vince yawned emerging into the shop.

"Afternoon." Howard replied tersely. "Come on then, what's the excuse this time?"

"I don't know…a squirrel jumped through the window and ran off with my eyeliner. Those little buggers are fast!" he said. Howard sighed, and Vince rolled his eyes at him. "What? It's not like we were busy!"

"We might have been."

"Howard, 'busy' in this place means maybe five customers come in throughout the entire day. I _think _you can handle that."

"That's not the point Vince."

Vince could sense an argument coming up. Normally he loved to fight with the jazz maverick, but today he couldn't be bothered. He lazily scratched his belly, well aware as he did so that his T-shirt was riding up to reveal his pale flesh. As expected, Howard's eyes flicked downwards. "Sorry Howard. Wont happen again."

"What?" Howard's eyes jerked back up. "Oh. Good. It'd better not."

With that he got up and walked into the stock room. Vince smirked as he sat down, flinging up his feet to rest on the counter and picking up the latest Cheekbone. "Too easy. Too fucking easy."

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"Hey Howard, could you go out and buy me some lunch?" Vince asked half an hour later.

"Why can't you get it yourself?"

"Go on. Please, Howard?" Vince pouted and lowered his head, looking up at Howard through his eyelashes. "I'll be really grateful…"

Howard swallowed and blushed. It took a lot of self control for Vince to maintain his seductive expression and not laugh. "Well…I suppose I could get something for myself as well…"

Vince relaxed into a cheeky grin and picked up his magazine again. "Cheers Howard, you're a diamond. Oh, and could you pick me up some shampoo whilst you're out."

"Er…sure." Howard pulled on his coat and left the shop.

Vince laughed to himself and looked down at his article on how black was the new pink. He was so absorbed in reading that he was surprised to look up and realise it was over two hours since Howard had left.

"Bloody hell!" he snorted, annoyed. "How long does it take to go to Tesco?"

Seemingly it took a very long time, because it was a further 4 hours until Howard returned, nipping in through the door as Vince walked over to lock it.

"Where the bloody hell have you been?!"

"Hmm?" Howard looked distracted, and had a faint smile on his face.

"You went to buy me lunch 6 hours ago!"

"Oh. Right. Sorry, little man."

"Did you get my shampoo?"

"Sorry."

"I had to run the shop all by myself this afternoon! It was exhausting."

"Yeah? Well welcome to my world. Maybe you'll think about that next time you waltz in at 1 in the afternoon."

Vince blinked, stunned. "Huh?"

Howard looked equally surprised. Seemingly he hadn't meant to say that. "Um…cup of tea?"

"Yeah. Cheers." Vince frowned after him. Since when did Howard answer him back?

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Vince watched Howard that evening. There was definitely something up with him; he actually laughed when Bollo insulted him, and Vince caught him humming to himself whilst making dinner.

"What's up with you?" he asked.

"Nothing." Howard said cheerfully.

"You're humming. That's not normal."

"Aren't I allowed to be happy, little man?" Howard said, his tone light. Vince opened his mouth, then closed it again. Of course Howard was allowed to be happy; it was just that he wanted to know why.

He glanced into the mirror and grimaced at his hair. It didn't look anywhere near as good as it should have done, because Howard hadn't bought his shampoo. He so wouldn't be able to go out tonight…

_Oh well_ he thought, shrugging. _At least I won't be on my own._

"Hey Howard, do you want to watch a film later?"

Howard froze for a split second, then carried on with what he was doing; deliberately not looking at Vince.

"Sorry, little man. I've got jazz club at Lester's, remember?"

"Go on, Howard, stay in with me. You can always catch up with Lester next week…" Vince flashed him his sexiest smile and casually ran a hand down his throat.

Howard smiled at him. "Sorry little man, no can do. I did promise." he put on his coat. "Oh, by the way, it might go on longer than usual, so if I'm not back tomorrow it's because I've stayed at Lester's. Bye!"

Vince stared at the front door. What the hell had just happened? He'd done everything he normally did - flirting, self touching - so why hadn't Howard done what he wanted? Why did he want to spend time with stupid old Lester Cornflake instead of him? With a sigh, he settled down to watch TV. Not that there was anything on. He stared mindlessly at yet another 'Friends' re-run.

The phone rang, and Vince hurried to answer it.

"Hey Vincey, its Lester."

"Oh, hi." Why the hell was he ringing?

"I wanted you to pass on a message to Howard. You tell him from me that I've rescheduled jazz club for Friday instead of Thursday like he asked."

"Rescheduled? But I thought you had jazz club tonight?"

"Oh we did Vincey, but Howard called me about half an hour ago and asked me to move it around."

"Oh. Ok, Lester, I'll tell him."

"Much appreciated."

Vince hung up, mind reeling. Jazz club wasn't on? So where the hell had Howard just gone to?

Vince was jerked awake by the sound of the door to the shop closing. He checked the time and realised it was 8 in the morning. Howard had stayed out all night! He tiptoed downstairs and listened.

"I'll see you later, ok?" he heard Howard say quietly. Then he heard the door close, and Howard began to whistle.

What the hell was going on? He ran upstairs and quickly did his hair and makeup (only taking 40 minutes, which had to be a new record), and walked as casually as he could into the shop. "Alright Howard?"

Howard blinked. "What are you doing here?"

"Um…I work here?"

"Yeah, but…it's only 9 o clock."

"I just…couldn't sleep. Good night last night?"

"Hmm?"

"At Lester's. The jazz club."

"Oh. Yeah, it was great. Really got into the jazz Ju-Ju last night, sir, let me tell you!"

"Anyone else turn up? I mean, it wasn't just you and Lester?"

"Vince, you know that we're the only ones in the jazz club."

"Right. Yeah."

"Are you ok?"

"Fine." Vince looked around, not sure what he should do. Howard was busy with stationary village, ignoring him completely. That wasn't normal either. Usually Howard kept watching him out of the corner of his eye whatever he was doing…Vince suddenly felt a surge of irritation. What right did Howard have to keep things from him? He was going to make him tell the truth.

"By the way, Lester called yesterday."

"Oh?"

"Told me to tell you he'd rescheduled yesterday's jazz club to Friday."

Howard stood completely still. "Ah."

"Yes 'Ah'. So where were you? You left for jazz club."

"I know, I met someone on the way there. A friend."

"You don't have any friends."

Howard spun round, his expression one of barely controlled anger. "Oh really? Sorry to break it to you, '_little man_', but I do have a life outside this shop."

"Yeah; jazzercise. And…um…oh yeah, that's it!"

"Fuck you, Vince."

"You wish!"

Howard looked at him in shock. Vince wondered for a minute if he'd finally gone too far; if Howard was going to hit him. Then Howard let out a bitter chuckle.

"I need to clear my head." he turned around and walked out again.

"Howard! Howard, wait."

He didn't. Vince rolled his eyes. What had gotten into _him_?

Howard would be back. He always came back.

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Please review coz it's my birthday and reviews make me happy as a clam!


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